Why you can’t get rid of your ego when you want to get rid of your ego

Never before have the topics of ego, mindfulness, awareness and meditation been so present in our society as today. No matter which city you are in, there is a yoga studio on every second corner with slogans like: Find your true self/ Be mindful/Be aware.
Various teaching offers promise to finally be less ego by participating in their courses. The teachings of Eastern culture have drawn our attention to the fact that besides the material world, which we consider to be so true, there is something completely different, something much fuller, more satisfactory than we have known so far. Due to the fact that we are materially saturated, we start looking for this mystical, so-called bliss state. Contrary to all other skills, which are easy to learn by repeating and studying frequently, the ego drop can’t be elaborated. People can practice meditation for years, soak up every possible literature for stripping the ego, and yet it may not go a step further. Conversely, someone who has never practiced any awareness practices can suddenly be enlightened overnight.

Then how can we work on it ?

First of all, we should stop listening to sentences like: Control your thoughts. Control your emotions. Someone who would have experienced a self-liberated state would not say phrases like that to you. Controlling the thoughts would mean that you yourself could control what kind of thoughts come into your head.

Thoughts are not something you create yourself. Rather, thoughts and emotions are something that happen to you. Just like breathing. As soon as you think you can control them, the opposite of what you are aiming for takes place: suppression of what is or wanting to change what is. The very obvious contrast to self-liberation.

For example, I suffered from insomnia for a while. Every time I went to bed my thoughts turned to the fact that I urgently need sleep, that I absolutely have to sleep in order to finally regain strength.
And even when my body was totally exhausted, the fact that I wanted to control something with my mind which I am not able to control, was the only reason for my inability to sleep.

This means that if we try to get rid of the ego by wanting to get rid of it, we will never get rid of it.

Meanwhile, ego has a negative aftertaste in many ways. However, this is counterproductive because it gives the impression that there is something in us that does not belong there.
This in turn changes the eastern teachings that we strive for into the western patterns again: we have the feeling that we are not yet right the way we are. That we still have to strip the ego before we can live happily. And it is precisely the fact that we are thrown at the head with so many apparently improperly used slogans that makes it even more difficult to free ourselves. Because in the crazy search for the liberated state, our so-called ego begins to convince us that we are liberated. And an ego-based liberator is probably worse than someone who doesn’t want to be liberated, because he sells to others what your ego tells him but isn’t.

Of course, all practices like yoga and meditation are very helpful on the way to detachment, as they give us time to finally perceive and explore ourselves. But don’t practice these things to experience enlightenment, practice them to enjoy them at the moment. Just like you shouldn’t practice love, kindness and gratitude to finally get rid of your ego, but for the sake of enjoying its. Ego-drop or enlightenment is something that happens to you, not what you can bring about, just like thoughts, emotions and life.