Why the urge to control the outer world is a fallacy — a short story.

In a small Asian country near South Korea, there was a political ruler, Jim-Kong-nu, who was addicted to control. Even though he already had the most powerful post in the country, his hunger for power was not satisfied. Every night he was racking his brain to find a solution for expanding it. He was longing for the control over his people, his wife, over nature, maybe even over the time and space. He was longing for the control of his entire life.

One day he heard about a rumor going around the country, that in the South Asian region high up in the Himalayas, there was a monk teaching about the art of control. Whoever came back from him is said to be a ruler of control. Jim, whose need was so great, quickly packed his things and traveled to the monk’s current location. He had to go on a long journey, he had to drive through winding roads in northern India and to climb the mountainous path to the monastery in Dharamkot. The journey had been torturing for the spoiled ruler, but finally, after four long days, he was standing in front of the said sage.

Kim was initially very irritated. The room in which the monk received him and which apparently also represented his house was furnished very sporadically. A thin straw mat was lying in the right corner of the room and seemed to be his bed. On the stone wall there was a small shelf filled with a few books, incense sticks and candles. The monk himself was of medium stature, had a shaved head and was only wearing a white Antaravāsaka, which is a Buddhist undergarment. Jim-Kong-nu wondered if this man could really be the master of control with so little property. While he was thinking, the monk sat motionless in the lotus position on the stone floor. Just when Jim decided to go back and headed for the door, the old wise man said:

I have what you are longing for. You can be an expert in control. In just three days. You have to stay here three days and read one book every day, here in my room. Then you’ll be a master. But there is one condition. If you can’t make it, you have to give up your post.

The Asian ruler remained rooted. Only three days? And just one book per day? That was a piece of cake. Of course, he could make this ridiculous deal. He agreed immediately. The next day, they met in monk’s room for the delivery of the first book. Jim was very happy that the deal was not a trap because it was not a book with an infinite number of pages. It was of average thickness, probably around two hundred pages. He was sure to read it within two hours, then he would have the rest of the day free. Just as he was about to take the book from the old man, he shook his head.

First, I have to tell you a story. You have to sit and listen to it. Then you’ll read the book.

Jim did as ordered and sat opposite the monk on the cold stone floor. The wise man then began to tell an exciting story. He told it in great detail, it took him a whole hour to finish it. It was a really exciting story and Jim was thrilled. Then the monk handed the book to the ruler and said:

Now read! Don’t forget, the deal is that you read every page from start to finish.

Of course he hadn’t forgotten the details of this ridiculous contract. He took the book and started reading the first page. Then the second. Then the third. The ruler hardly believed it. It was exactly the same story that the monk had just told in the smallest detail! How was he supposed to read every page when he already knew what was happening in it? Kim was beside herself. What was the point of going through this story a second time?

Stop thinking so much. You have six hours left to overcome the first day challenge. Remember you wanted to be master of control.

So he forced himself through the content of the book for the next six hours. He was exhausted. He had never had to endure anything so annoying. The next morning, the same madness happened. The monk told a story in two hours, a much more boring one. He then gave him a book. And again it was exactly the same content of the spoken story. Had the old man gone mad? It didn’t make any sense. The stories weren’t even about control, how was he going to be master of control by the next day? He bit his way through to the tenth page. Then Kim lost his composure. He couldn’t. It was so boring that it made him aggressive. He threw the book on the floor and accused the monk of playing a wrong game with him. The monk smiled animatedly:

My dear friend. It’s just the second day and you want to give up already? I thought you would care about your control expansion much more.

Jim growled to himself, then picked up the book, sat in the corner, and struggled through the book. On the third morning the ruler was in a good mood because today should be the day on which he should become a master. On this day, too, the monk wanted to tell him a story. However, today there was a remarkable difference. The stories duration was only twenty minutes, but he repeated it six times. This old man was strange. After the sixth lap, Kim could barely sit still, his boredom seemed unable to grow. Then the monk gave him the book. Jim couldn’t believe it. It was a six-time constitution of the told story. He had heard it six times and now should he read it six times more? He was done! That stupid monk should go to hell! He quit. Jim was completely in a rage. Suddenly the old monk clapped his hands with joy.

Finally you did it. I was already afraid that I couldn’t teach you anything better. But at last you seem to have understood it. Look, people crave control, and like you, they’d love to control E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in their life. However, most people do not think this scenario through sufficiently. If we had full control of our lives, of people, we would all be as bored as you reading books you already know.And if our lives were so boring, people would go crazy, they would use their power for completely nonsensical things just to feel at least some thrill. Our species thinks they need control, but in real life, it is the opposite. Having no control makes our lives so beautiful, like an unread exciting book. Besides, our mind is so limited. Our story would always be about the same thing. All these suprises — we would never be able to organize it that exciting if we had control over the story.

Jim was embarrassed by his inability to see through the book trick. He had now personally experienced how boring it was when you knew what was happening before a story. But why was everyone who went from here considered a master of control? Was there more to know than the burden of an entire control? The monk’s loud clearing of his throat tore Kim out of his thoughts.

Well, if your thoughts allow me to speak and allow you to pay attention, now that you know that full control is not satisfactory, I will explain what you really should learn about control. The most important thing to know first: In the outer world, the degree of your control is zero.

Jim laughed uncertainly. Zero? this old man had to be kidding. He already had so much power and therefore a lot of control, that was anything but zero.

Everything you think you have under control can be completely destroyed from one day to another. Puff! Gone! There just has to be a natural disaster, an unforeseen pandemic or a changed worldview and everything you have controlled so much is suddenly of no value. Now we are becoming more specific. About your fellow human beings, your wife, your parents, do not even try to take control. It will end in a disaster. As less as you are able to control the flaws of humanity. Just as you cannot influence the peculiarities and fluctuations of other people, you cannot control your own. We are an image of nature. Sometimes nature is wild, stormy and untamed, sometimes it is very gentle like a light breeze on a spring day. Even if we as people in large cities sometimes forget that we are a small microcosm in the macrocosm and are therefore subject to exactly the same fluctuations, life becomes easier when we recognize this.

The ruler was frustrated. He couldn’t control his environment, his fellow human beings and, to the greatest evil, not even control himself? That wasn’t very great news.

But my dear friend, besides all these impossibilities, we were given exactly two things over which we can exercise control. And once we are able to master these two instruments, the level of positive impact will be so great that we won’t long for more control. In addition, you know now that too much control leads to boredom or craziness. First, the obvious. You can control your body. You can take care to become the ruler of your body, so you practice concentration and overcoming the human tendency of being sluggish. While doing that you already start improving the control over the second instrument, which is much more complicated. The control of your mind. By controlling your mind, I don’t mean you should thoughts or moods. You wouldn’t be successful. Don’t forget you’re an image of nature. If you try to control thoughts and emotions, you will at most suppress the fluctuations, with which you would deny yourself. Sooner or later you would go mad. By controlling the mind, I mean becoming a conscious watcher of these fluctuations. To see your emotional storms, to enjoy the gentle winds. To look at your often completely confused thoughts from a distance, a distance that gives you space, a small space that gives you time not to act directly. For example, it is perfectly normal to feel anger. And you don’t have to deny this feeling, it belongs to the nature of human being. The small space, however, it gives you the option of not turning your anger into rash violence. Because you know that you are such a colorful being that your anger can be mercilessly transformed into a completely different emotion just within a second. Our thoughts, our emotions, completely aimless! Just like the weather of a crazy day in april. The only way we can control our instruments is through space, which allows us to look at these highs and lows and not act reactively, but calmly and wisely. This requires a lot of practice and concentration. It requires a lot of self-study. It requires a lot of loving forbearance regarding yourself and of course a lot of time and patience. But I promise you, as soon as you master these two virtues you will be the master of control and you flow with the change of nature, completely in peace.

The ruler was impressed by the apparent insignificance that would have to be observed in order to achieve the maximum possible control. But it was difficult to grasp because it was not materially visible. How should he start with something like that?

Initially, using the first instrument, your body, will give you an idea of how to watch your thoughts and moods. It is a very good example of the absurdity of our head. Of course, five minutes of stretching in the morning would do us good, and of course that wouldn’t take much time away. Still, our thoughts will do everything possible to find suitable excuses not to do it, although we KNOW that it would be good for us. Stay here for twentyone days. Practice stretching every morning and observe your mental resistance. And then very slowly you will start to feel your inner space. The space that keeps you from the actual unhealthy behavior. I emphasize it again, not your thoughts or emotions can be controlled or change— your actions can.

Jim-Kong-nu stayed twenty-one days at the monastery and did what the monk had suggested. After those days he returned to his country as a becoming master of control.