There was a small monastery in a remote village high up in the Himalayas. Wise monks have lived in this monastery for several generations. Among them was a young, very clever apprentice called Lobsang. In Buddhism Lobsang means the educated. The boy rummaged through books from morning to night because he wanted to understand the world.
One day he went to the eldest of his group because he wanted to tell him that he now believed he understood everything. Love, death, dualism, happiness, suffering. He had studied and thought everything through carefully. He was sure he knew the truth of human existence.
So when they both settled on the edge of a small river, he said to the old monk:
I understood everything. I know the truth. Believe me, I studied everything very carefully.t
The wise old man just laughed and when he calmed down a bit he leaned forward, looked Lobsang deeply in the eyes and replied:
My dear son, I am glad that you have studied so much. You are ahead of most people with your knowledge. But thinking through is only one side of the coin. Sanity gives you security because sanity arises from the known. Knowledge always corresponds to the old, the already experienced. Newness only comes from the unknown and for unknown things you cannot refer on knowledge. You have to go into existence. You have to move into untamed passion of human aliveness. This state only comes up through not thinking. And for experiencing the unknown you have to be brave, you have to fight your fears. If you just stay in your head, in the known, you are only pretending to be fully alive. So what else are you left with? We are all looking for something that fulfills us. That gives us the feeling of vitality. You could not find it in the familiar yet, so you have no choice but to venture the depths of human passion.
The little apprentice looked amazed at his role model. The depths of human passion. That didn’t sound as predictable as the content of his beloved books.
Will my knowledge then be of any use to me? Did I start my life wrong by looking for answers in scriptures? I want to be free from fear. I want to dive into the depths of human existence but I don’t know if I’ll lose myself then.
Again the old wise man looked deep into the little monk’s eyes and said:
I am glad that you want to receive the uncertain. And no, of course what you have learned is not useless. We need both the mind and the fire within us. They are both like your equivalent companions in life. Imagine your life like an exciting roller coaster. The passion is the ups and downs. The mind the direction. Without passion, the roller coaster would be of no use, a straight, constant track. No tingling in the stomach. Nobody would drive with it voluntarily. But if you only had ups and downs without any direction and regulation, you would loose your head after a while.
So let the thrill be guided by your mind so that you have enough strength and clarity to cope with any deep experience. Both are equally important. Neither can be placed over the other.
You have studied sanity, now it is time to dive into the unknown. Kindle the fire in you. Let the ups and downs lift you out of the old and show you what it means to be alive.
The little apprentice was determined. He wanted to be alive. Fully. He asked the monk where he could find his passion. Was there a manual for this uncertain area of human existence?
The monk patted the boy on the shoulder:
We humans are sometimes amusing. We would like to write everything down in words, explain it logically. Would like to grasp with our senses what magic feels like. Diving into the depths of existence has no manual. It is not logically comprehensible. Of course you can define lessons from your untamed experiences, but as soon as it is written down, it becomes the old, the known and you have to create a new balance again. This is the only way to fully blossom in life, my dear son.
