Sometimes there is this cloud,
this ever-widening cloud,
which is engrossing my mind,
my body, my whole being.
That cloud in my head, it makes me forget how to see.
Out of nothing I feel lost,
feel like there is no way to go, no place to stay.
With this cloud in my head I start questioning the beauty,
the beauty of the garden, which I can’t see anymore.
With this thunderstorm in my body,
I can’t go, I can’t see, I cant think.
I have to watch it. I have to tolerate it.
I have to give up the urge to see beauty
while the storm is raging in my body, trying to split me into pieces.
And then, finally, there is this delicate orange sunrise,
this sunrise after the storm, illuminating the garden with its gentle light,
coating my exhausted body with its warming beams.
It’s the sunrise after the storm, which makes me brave.
